Father's Day Take II

"What's wrong?" I was on my way through the house when I noticed Max hunched over and looking ever so sad.

"Mom just scheduled me for a haircut," came the tearful voice as he stood and wrapped his arms around me in a desperation move,... as if a I were the one to pull Excalibur from the stone.

This was my opening I had waited for ... I casually mentioned, "Well, I suppose I could cut your hair?"

"Would YOU?!" His posture transformed immediately from hopeless, to 'well, my dad couldn't be that bad at cutting hair.'


The only thing left to do was to inform Kim. This would be comparable to getting a prisoner out of Alcatraz (it's been done once, but many who tried before had failed miserably). "So,... Max feels pretty bad about his impending haircut," I didn't even get a chance to finish my sentence.

"He'll be just fine. He just doesn't want a haircut, that's all," spoken like a true mother.

"Well, as I was saying... he wants me to cut it," I had positioned myself in another room when I broke the news, because if looks could do damage, hers would have flattened me.

"He did not," I could catch a glint of disbelief in her voice - the kind you get after someone picks your exact card out of a pile that you had randomly placed it.

(Max entered the room at just the right moment) "What are you doing?" an innocent question from a child of eight.

"Did you tell tell dad that he could cut your hair?" Kim was not messing around and got right to it.

"Yea. He will cut it just the way I want it and besides, we'll save money on a haircut," I was still deflecting looks by staying in the other room, but I could hear the upbeat spirit of a boy who was about to entrust sharp cutting instruments in to the hands of 'DAD'.

I've been hacking away at my hair for the past year or so and with each trim (successful and not so successful), I proudly announce two things throughout the household: 1.) Your mother won't leave me over a bad haircut, and 2.) Just saved myself a little cash.

So you can see how proud I was that my 'cheapness' is rubbing off onto my children. Kim, on the other hand, not so proud. I heard footsteps approaching my vicinity and felt the need to move, but stood paralyzed like any good extra in a horror flick. "You put him up to this," her voice sounded a bit accusatory.

"Nope. He just recognized talent," it's up to me to come through in the clutch now. I don't pretend to fix cars or solve world problems, but this,... I think I can do THIS! If all goes well, tomorrow it shall be revealed. If it doesn't go well, this may be my last post for a while as I heal.

Relay Rally

Cruisin for the Cure, Relay for Life began today with a signing in and a kick off in the Grand Stand at the county fair grounds.

It never ceases to astound me as to the numbers of people and families affected by this disease. "Nine hundred and fifty new people in our county alone, sometime this year, will hear the words: You have cancer," one of the speakers announced this morning. That seems like an awfully large number. But then again, as I remembered back two years ago, it felt as if Hannah was one of the very few kids to have cancer in the county. Then I glanced down the bleachers,... there sat a young lady who wore a survivor shirt (she's in high school),... I watched as Maddie (a middle school girl) walked by with her short, baby soft-hair (an outward badge that is earned only by the ones who have battled with cancer through chemo),...I spotted a young boy from our church (a high school boy in his survivor purple),... and many others who I didn't see but know of - the point is, once your eyes are open, you seldom miss the big picture, and numbers that reach into the high hundreds are very real,...and very sad.


Hannah signs the Survivor Lifesaver along with a fellow survivor.



Kim and Hannah made the first walk around the track with a number of survivors.


I stood by with my new walking stick (also makes a good standing stick).

PINZ

Arriving home is always wonderful ... "Who left the bucket of clothes sitting in the middle of the kitchen!?"

We will, of course, need to head back to Mayo in the middle of July (which is a brief two weeks at home), but leaving things packed for the return trip might be a little preemptive. Hannah has a rather impressive knitting needle stuck through her hand, allowing the wrist to remain immobile.

When we return in July, she will have it removed and Dr. Shin will have the opportunity to see how the arm and hand are progressing. In the meantime, we (which is singular for Kim) are to keep her fingers moving. I thought that the movement would be getting much easier by now, but after watching Kim take each digit this morning and flex them at each knuckle, it doesn't seem to be the case. "That hurts," Hannah explained to me that she feels most of the discomfort in her fingers and not in her arm.

Hannah's cast, being below the elbow, will allow her to begin stretching out her arm and getting it back to somewhat normal extension. Kind of similar to the motion I have to go through every morning right before getting out of bed - I have to make sure my knees are ready for the flexing motion that accompanies a little something known as walking.

After we get through this next step in July, we will move into planning for her third procedure to remove a muscle from her left thigh to place in her right arm. As it is now, Hannah's hand is straight, but she has no way of clenching or gripping anything. She will literally be a one handed girl until that point.

It's Friday

Puppies visit the House.

Medication seems to be working!

The Farm

Just returned from spending a terrific afternoon visiting with Bob and Lois (see page 210 in Time Out) in Waltham. Along with the Melbourne size steaks and the iced beer, which is always a must when grilling, we got the chance to visit 'the farm' that I hear Bob talk about.


Pictured: Dan, Bob, Max, Hannah, Lois, and Dave (photographer: Kim)




(ring, ring) "Hey Bob! What have you been up to?"
"Working on the farm."

(ring, ring) "Hey Bob! What's going on?"
"Not much. Just getting ready to head back to the farm."

(ring, ring) "Hey Bob! What's happenin' eh?"
"Just been at the farm working. Gonna grab a bite and head back."

Bob and Lois live in the town of Waltham, but in the counrty-side lies 'the farm' that Bob seems to always be going to, coming from, or returning to. "When are we going to the farm?" Max didn't take much time after dinner (aka lunch) before wanting to make his way to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, Bob, Dan (their son), and I made our way through a number of buildings before the kids, Kim, and Lois got there. Turns out the farm was a whopping 1/2 mile away,.. maybe.

"Where are the animals?!" came Max's voice from behind us.

Bob had told us that they had pigs but that they were at a different location. The farm we were at had most of the equipment they use for the fields. So we got to see semi-trucks, tractors, planters, and other equipment - like motorcycles! For Max, a farm meant chickens, cows, rabbits, pigs, sheep, and a spider that weaves words into a corner post web. He quickly got past his disappointment of the missing livestock when he spotted the tractors and semi-trucks. It reminded me a bit of years gone by when we would take the kids to the Berrien County Youth Fair and they would RUN from tractor to tractor, climbing on each and every seat to test out the steering wheel and gadgets on them. As soon as the seat was warmed, it was off to the next one. Can't even count how many times we've had someone walk up to us to remind us that the rides were in another part of the fair grounds.

The thing I like most about being on 'the farm', aside from seeing the motorcycles, was the opportunity to ask Bob questions. Just learning about the planting equipment was fascinating,... making me a true farm geek. It gave me a great deal of appreciation for all the things they have to continually maintain and prepare for on a farm, not to mention the actual field work.


After the tour, I had the chance to talk with Bob's dad, Bill. He told me one story that I won't soon forget. Bill is a long time biker who could fill a book of his various adventures in a long afternoon. "I love riding," he leaned in to tell me, with a glint in his eye and a smile that could only be compared to that of the smile found on a child's face on Christmas morning. "I use to milk cow long ago and every night, round the time I was getting to the last cow, I could hear my friend's bike coming in the drive," he continued the story as his eyes drifted away from me, as if he could just picture that very moment in time right in front of him. I was hanging on the next word. "You see, the barn was set so you could look right out the end of the barn door on to the drive. I knew it was time to ride every time I got near the last cow," he told me as if it were a treat to a job well-done. "Even if my friend hadn't shown up on time, I knew he was coming. We would always head to some nearby town, go to a carnival, walk around a bit, and then ride some more," Bill had that biker smile. That kind of smile that can't be wiped away.

His story summed up riding for me - it's a joy and experience that you carry with you. We went on to talk a bit more about riding and some of his adventures before I had to leave to head back to Rochester.

When in Waltham on a bike ride, be sure to keep an eye out for Bill - he'll be the one grabbing his helmet and trying to catch up to you.

Stepping Out

Getting out of the room is always a positive step in the right direction. Today we got around and made our way downtown to the radio station Y105 to get the station tour and meet Tom from the Morning Show. To describe Tom would be like trying to describe the inside of a tornado - you know there's a whole lot going on in there, but it's going to take several years of study to fully understand a tiny part of it.

Shanna had just finished a guest spot on the Tom and Alex Morning Show this past Friday, so we had our ticket in. Actually, Shanna was the one to set it all up.

Tom was a great host, showing us around the station. Once we got to his studio, the kids had a chance to record and listen to their voices after editing. "How about coming up with a play that we could record?" Tom suggested.
"We could make it a musical," Shanna chimed in.
"What should it be about?" Tom was waiting for the kids to come up with a suggestion.
Something about squirrels, a one legged goose, an angry villain, a disgruntled old man sweep up goose poop... it's a story in development.
"Send me the script and I'll pull some sound effects," Tom continued with the plan.

The kids seemed fairly excited to get this script pulled together,...and to make me some sort of goose catcher. Suppose that's a better role than Tom's because they made him Boy Furball #2, right behind Max as Boy Furball #1. I'm keeping my day job, but if this thing takes off,...I may be rethinking it. We've already talk to Shanna about changing her major - after all, she's only a college sophomore with many more years of major changing to go!

Plug Tuesday

Promotional moment.

We've been passing the book along with each person reading various portions. We have 30 days to read, edit, and send back the only copy that we have to date.

Shanna has become the top salesperson in the Time Out organization so far,... but we still have 14 days to go.

The main question people keep asking is, "When is it coming out?"

Good question - we're not sure. Once I send it back, they will do a final edit adjustment and layout, then the marketing team goes to work along with the printer. When, where, how many, will be the question we all want to know.

Wheelin'

I don't ever recall having so much wheelchair time in the past.

"What are you doing?" Shanna questioned Axel and his twin sister Melanie.

Axel had been killing time in the hospital with a little fun run down the incline hallway. Enough said ... Shanna grabbed the closest wheelchair and it was on!

With their respective assistant drivers, Axel and Shanna were doing what most nurses preferred to not watch. Us parents did what any cancer parent would do: We got our cameras out.

The races turned out to be human damage free. With the time-honored, good sportsmanship hand shake, the races were over. Till we meet again on the simple machine known as the incline plane of the 2nd floor, where the true test of pushing limits is at large. Next stop was the 7th floor.

The 7th floor is known for three things: Meditation room, hospital suits for the wealthy, and the library (where Hannah could check out videos). We were there for the movies. Shanna was feeling a bit sassy today as she took our entourage through the private section hospital suits with, "Hey, let's go this way!" Who was I to argue with a daredevil such as this. Besides, if we were to be confronted by guards of any kind, I could just point at Shanna since she was in front of the pack. The other good thing to point out is that at the end of the trek through how the other side receives hospital care, was the mediation room. So if anyone were to get clipped by a rubber bullet, we could yoga the pain away.

As intense as it was going through the doors that clearly read: SHANNA AND CREW, STAY OUT! Once we were in the carpeted hallways, with oak-lined chair rails, the people we encountered were very nice - even offered us some homemade cookies.

Heading back to the House after being discharged was all about pain management. As long as Hannah could handle the pain on her oral meds, then we could move out of the St. Mary's and to the Ronald.

Back at the RMH Hannah spends a lot of time relaxing in bed, watching television, and grabbing some needed rest.

We did manage to escape for an hour or so yesterday to attend the Mac Attack 5k Run / 3k Walk (we opted for the walk portion). As long as Hannah can support her arm and reduce jarring she's pretty good. Oh,.. and the pain medicine seems to help too.

The path of the walk was lined with pictures and quotes. Hannah and Danielle found a few of the posters that featured THEM!

Not quite sure how much money was raised for the RMH and Brighter Tomorrows. It was just great being out with everyone and seeing cancer kids with hair! Hannah, of course, is wiped out today and on her first nap already.

Bed Wrest

Coming out of recovery and rounding the corner to the hospital room.

Still feeling the affects of anesthesia.

Making the bed transfer can be a bit dicey.

The power to the pain pump button!

Hannah rests with the photo of the surgical team wearing their fashionable hats at the foot of her bed.

Dr. Shin drops by to get a post-op look at Hannah's hand.

In a moment of consciousness, Hannah manages a Popsicle (her big meal of the day). Shortly after this, it was right back to sleep.

"We're officially related," Dr. Shin told Hannah. "When I was stitching you up, the needle slipped and went right into my finger. Sharing blood makes you related I'm pretty sure." With Dr. Shin having daughters, one that is Hannah's age, I'm sure adding one more won't be a stretch.

Dr. Shin stopped by this morning and gave us the all clear if Hannah's pain management goes well today. IF not, then we will be in the hospital until tomorrow. The focus for today is to get her fingers bending twice an hour. The tendon that is being moved happens to slide right over the area that was operated on and is very painful. The strange thing is that you would think the pain would be in the wrist area, but it hurts her more closer to the elbow. If this were Vegas, my bet would be on getting out of the hospital tomorrow.



Thanks for all the prayers.

Landing on Recovery

"Dr. Shin and Dr. Bishop are ready to speak to you," the communication nurse found us dropping caffeine into our system ala Caribou Coffee. One of my favorite parts of surgery is when the nurses tell you to take care of yourself and to go get a bite to eat - yeah, right! The last thing you want to do is to take even one step out of the parent waiting room.

Sitting in the tiny conference room is not one of the most relaxing places to be,.. I've heard that the Jamaican beaches are nice,... but knowing that Hannah was done had some comfort to it. Kim and I both sat in our own silence, holding hands for the few minutes we waited to hear the outcome.

"The three bones have been removed," Dr. Bishop began telling us about the procedure. "The cartilage had been completely worn away, leaving bone on bone." He explained that while the removal of the bones was necessary to alleviate tightness in the wrist area, the sight would eventually host arthritis. With the bones removed Hannah's wrist went to a 30 degree bend.

Dr. Shin then explained the part of releasing all the muscle and tendons to allow the hand further flexing. "We were able to cut through a large section of scar tissue and release the hand." The one thing they both noticed was the artery that supplies the blood flow to the hand. Apparently, one was removed with the tumor, while the other was shut down by process of radiation. "This leaves one tiny path for the blood to flow to the hand which has us concerned," Dr. Bishop added. If the blood flow were to stop, then Hannah's skin would develop ischemia (shortage of blood which causes tissue damage that is very painful). "We released the tourniquet and her fingers turned pink. That's a good sign. Not quite sure how it's doing it, but at this point it seems to be working," Dr. Shin continued to explain the floppy hand issues. "Her hand has no function right now. With the release of the muscles she has nothing to bring her grip in."

Both went on to explain that Hannah would need another surgery (perhaps in August) to remove a muscle from her upper left thigh and place it into her arm. This would give her some ability to clench her fingers, but as for her strength in that hand,... time will tell. The one thing that they kept reiterating was, "She will be in a tremendous amount of pain."

We are waiting to hear from the recovery room and the possibility of getting a hospital room - because this morning they were waiting to see how many kids would be discharged today in order to place us in a room.

The Pink Team

"Jim!" The start to our surgery morning couldn't have started out better than seeing Jim. Jim is the PA assistant to Dr. Shin and Dr. Bishop,... and as PA's go, Jim is one of the best. Dawning the pink hat in a show of solidarity Jim confesses, "I've had a number of comments this morning already about my pink hat."

Kim, along with Jeanne Simpson, made 12 hats for the surgery team at the request of Hannah. "When I come for my surgery, I think it would be great for everyone to wear pink!" Hannah told Dr. Shin back in February. Dr. Shin is a good sport, but he refuses to let Hannah turn his world pink. Upon presenting the four pink patterned options to Dr. Shin yesterday at the appointments, "I will be happy to wear this red one here," he told Hannah.

"It's pink, not red," Hannah replied, as if Dr. Shin were having some color vision issue.

The surgery procedure started at 6 AM this morning with a line to the admissions desk that would make a Disney employee proud. A mere 47 minutes later and we were officially checked into Saint Mary's Hospital! Following our admissions process we headed to the next floor up for prep and wait. Now that you're here, let me prep you by telling that you need to have a seat and wait for a bit.

Actually, it wasn't that bad. We cruised right through the nurse's questions, the changing into the surgery outfit, the visit from anesthesiology, and even a little boy in another prep area who did not want to lay on a rolling bed where he would become loopy.

The plan for today is to remove three small bones at the base of the wrist to allow for more room and mobility; get into the forearm and free up some of the muscle and tendons from the bone to allow them to move a bit more freely as well. Hannah will more than likely be in the hospital for the next three days as they keep an eye on her pain and post-op healing. From that point she will have 10-12 days before we will know if she's able to head back to Michigan (then back to Mayo ... then back to Michigan ... then back to Mayo). This will more than likely be the Summer of I-90, as we travel the all to familiar trek.

Jim and Hannah
7:45

A Bucket List

It was just yesterday when I was seated in a circle of friends, when one of them mentioned a bucket list. All I could think of was Jack Nicholson strapped to a parachute and about to take the plunge of a lifetime out of a perfectly good airplane (isn't that what most think ... why jump? This plane is working great.).

A bucket list? I don't have a bucket list. Should I have one? Wouldn't it just be a reminder of things I haven't done yet? Perhaps I could design one that has no chance of failure,... like a bucket list of 'beers to taste before I die'. But what if I never get the opportunity to sample all the ones I had listed; or worse yet, end up in rehab because I had made it through my list and was on a second go-round.

Then I thought why do people develop a bucket list? Are they terminal? The only reason for creating one, as Jack had, was because of a terminal diagnosis. Which makes sense to me. If the doctor gave me a time period of so many months, what would I want to see, do, and experience? We've all given this some thought, haven't we?

That's when clarity broke in for me and stopped my search for a reason for a bucket list. It's not what you do, what you experience, or what you can check off a list. It's the relationships both with friends, family, and God that matter the most. I don't need to climb the highest mountain when I can spend an evening in the company of remarkable friends. I don't need to see the ruins of some great monument when I can spend time watching my children grow. I don't need to check off a list when I know that the greatest moment in life will be standing before Jesus, because nothing on that list will compare.



We leave for Mayo on Tuesday, with doctors appointments on Wednesday, followed by surgery on Thursday. I will do my very best to keep everyone informed. Of course, I have fallen short lately with information regarding Shanna. She has undergone surgery to remove a tumor that was recently found. The doctors feel that they have clear margins. Please keep her in your prayers.

Also, the book is in and it looks great! A little surreal to see it actually in a finalized format. We have 30 days to proof it one last time before it goes to print for the masses.

Peace and Prayers