Give a Little .... at a time

"What do you mean we're out of money? I still have shopping to do."

Has this conversation happened in your house yet?

It never fails that no matter how much I save and plan for Christmas gifts, I never seem to have enough to go around. It gets worse each year. I've concluded that in my choice of presents going from Fisher-Price tractors to Uber-Electronics, there's just not enough to cover more than one gift per child. But you can't just have one gift under the tree, can you? Of course not! You can't go from the toddler child who use to get about 50 different toys because they each cost a mere $2, to one gift. Half of the fun on Christmas morning is watching the kids open their presents.

That's why, this year I've decided to take apart the one electronic gift and spread them out over several boxes and gift wrappings. I'm figuring upwards of twenty boxes should do the trick. When they are completely done unwrapping each gift-box, they can then begin building the one device back into a whole working unit of electronic wonderment! Sound crazy? I think not - you just have to be sure to get the warranty.

Lit Up

"Do either of you smoke?" asked our waitress.

Seemed like a strange question as we sat in the Irish Pub in Holland, having a celebratory late night snack, due to Kim wrapping up another master's class. "No we don't."

"Well,.. I thought I should ask because in about ten minutes this whole place goes from smokeless to smoking," as her words hung in the air, I tried to recall state laws.

Before I could grasp the slightest jurisprudence thought rattling in my brain, a gal walked by our table carrying two packs of cigarettes in each hand. I found it odd that she was taking her smoking to such a serious level. As I turned around to view the rest of the room to see if anyone else was preparing to vacate as fast as we were, I glanced at the tab

le directly behind me and the guys who had been chatting over a couple pints were now flicking lighters, as two packs of cigarettes sat in front of them. Moments later, a waitress careened through room between the tables doling out ash trays like a blackjack dealer in a casino. It was as if a switch had flipped and we were just waiting to hear the voice of Rod Sterling drift through the air, Your next stop ... the Twilight Zone.

"People must REALLY be intense with smoking around here," I threw out my observation to the waitress.

"Oh no," she said, "if you did smoke you could get two packs of cigarettes for free by just letting them scan your ID. It's a promotional thing every week."

All For 10 Minutes

It was suppose to be a simple planning trip that went down a long, winding road leading to the money pit of doom. Let me expound...

"Hey, let's head out to the fireplace shop today and look over our choices so I can get started on the framing portion," I have always wanted to add a fireplace in the living room,... something to place my television over while I watch Sunday Football - something about that set up is comforting for us men.

"Okay, but I need to work on my school work for a little bit before we go." Little did I know that those words would end up changing the next two days.

I like to have a project going and one in the talking phase,.. and one in my mind to spring on Kim for whenever we find down time and need to DO something. For now the project is the living room / fireplace followed by the dreams, hopes, misguided delusions of redoing the kitchen down the road.

I knew looking at fireplaces and talking specs wasn't going to be the most thrilling part of Kim's day, so I closed the fireplace conversation with, "While we're out, let's swing by Lowes and get some ideas for the kitchen. I'll even measure the kitchen so we can have some plans drawn up." What was I thinking?! While we're out,... measure the kitchen,... plans!?!?!?!?! I was out alright,... out of my mind. Why don't I just dangle my arms over a boat in front of a group of hungry, angry alligators and see if they'll bite.

After Kim wrapped up her school paper, she was more than ready to get out of the house and away from any and all desk work. As we drove to the store, we discussed what we wanted in a fire place: the design, function, and more design. Pretty much it was more of me explaining my vision of how I thought it would look when I finished building the whole mantle / shelving,.. and Kim quietly thinking to herself: Boy, I hope he doesn't mess this up!

Pulling into the parking lot, something seemed strange. Like there was no sign of life in the store, around the store, or within 500 feet of the store. We did the s l o w w a l k up to the door, looking for the 'hours of operation'. "Darn it! Missed it by ten minutes!" ten minutes

"Maybe they're still around," Kim was being optimistic.

"Not on a Saturday. These guys were probably sitting in their cars at 2 waiting to pull out (the sign had business hours 'open until 2 PM' - my watch read 2:10) and start their weekend," I was like a kid who rips through every wrapped gift under the tree in hopes of that one special present,... slightly let down. "Let's head to Lowes."

"What's the cut off point?" We had finished our visit with the cabinet guy and were heading home.

"What do you mean, cut off point?" Kim was more than excited to see what the kitchen would look like with new cabinets. After listening to what we wanted and going over the space we had, the cabinet guy told us that it would be a few days before he could have a drawing put together for us to come back and take a look at. This move is similar to going from bean bags in your living room to actual furniture. You can be comfortable in both, yet one simply feels like a vast improvement towards adulthood.

"I can sense you desperately want the new kitchen and I'm willing to put off the living room project, but it needs to be within some kind of budget. So, what's the dollar point where we say no to the kitchen and I go back to my original plan?"

Kim was quick with a response, "Let's see what he says first."

One Day Goes By and the phone rings with a the caller ID showing LOWES.

"I'm done with the drawings, so whenever you have time,...." it took seconds to process this answer.

"We'll be in today."

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle as we left the store with drawings in hand. Sixteen thousand dollars and some change for cabinets. No pulls, no counter top, no new appliances,... just cabinets. I figured it was well beyond the point of our cut off. "Well, that does it. Back to Plan A - the fire place."

"What do you mean?" Kim seemed puzzled by my dismissal of a new kitchen. "Did you see what it's going to look like? Did you see how much space we're going to have compared to what we have now!? You're the money man,... you can figure a way!" With that bit of encouragement, we are moving forward with our fireplace.

So what's the lessons to be learned by this little endeavor? Don't be 10 minutes late and don't entice your wife with home improvement projects you can't back with money.